Hey guys, I’m going to be actually maybe active on tumblr via theinkpoisoningproject.tumblr.com so like follow and stuff I guess. Those of you who are friends with me on facebook will see nothing new for a few more weeks, but there you go.
I’m reading a bunch of freaking weird Ohio Christian tumblrs where they talk about IN THE EYES OF GOD every fifth sentence and write long rambling posts on the sin on pornography. Listen: I like people with faith. I enjoy talking about religion. I’m a religious studies major.
But here’s what I’m going to teach my kids about religion, politics, and pornography:
IT’S OKAY TO CHOOOOOOSE
The Abortion Diaries, a short documentary featuring 12 women who speak candidly about their experience with abortion, is now available online in its entirety.
The fact that I was nervous about sharing this link is the reason I feel I should share it.
Have you ever:
1. Taken a picture naked? Nah. I figure the mirror is enough to know what my own body looks like.
2. Painted your room? More like papered it in Lord of the Rings posters.
3. Kissed a member of the same sex? Yes, twice; once at a cast party, and the other in the rain, outside my house.
4. Drove a car? Uhduh.
5. Danced in front of your mirror? And everywhere else.
6. Had a crush? Several along the way.
7. Been dumped? Not in like, a serious way. I’ve been rejected, and my girlfriend in seventh grade (the relationship lasted a week and a half) ignored me until I stopped acting affectionate so I guess that counts. Wasn’t really a big deal, though.
8. Stole money from a friend? Absolutely not.
9. Gotten in a car with people you just met? Yuh-huh.
10. Been in a fist fight? No. Not even a scratch fight. Not even a verbal confrontation, really.
11. Snuck out of your house? I’m not an idiot. Mom would have known.
12. Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Yeah, but I changed his mind in the end. :)
13. Been arrested? Nope.
14. Made out with a stranger? I wouldn’t say so.
15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? Is the implication here for sex? Or just like… to hang out? No, I don’t arrange casual sex dates, but yes, at times I have been known to spend time with the opposite sex.
16. Left your house without telling your parents? Why is that a big deal?
17. Had a crush on your neighbor? The girl next door used to babysit me and I thought she was just SO cool.
18. Ditched school to do something more fun? Too scared of getting caught. I would occasionally fake sick so I could stay home and play with my DS.
19. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Yeah at like, every sleepover I’ve ever been to.
20. Seen someone die? A mouse once. I screamed. Dad came downstairs and took care of it.
21. Been on a plane? Only a billion times.
22. Kissed a picture? Yep!
23. Slept in until 3? And longer (the time I stayed up from 6AM to 10AM the next day comes to mind).
24. Love someone or miss someone right now? Both, but fortunately, I’ll see him Saturday.
25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Yes, and those are the best days.
26. Made a snow angel? My snow angels always sucked. I never understood the big deal.
27. Played dress up? Oh man, you should have SEEN the intricate games Cecelia, Kat and I would get into with our dress-up bins.
28. Cheated while playing a game? Only all the time. When I was little the game was finding ways to cheat. I don’t really anymore.
29. Been lonely? Who hasn’t?
30. Fallen asleep at work/school? Yyyyyyyyyyyyyep.
31. Been to a club? Not really. Hard to find in my area so when I want to dance it’s off to the bar.
32. Felt an earthquake? Yeah. I’d just moved into my dorm and my chair started shaking like someone’s leg was jiggling. It lasted about thirty seconds and when I looked online all my Maryland friends were posting “NEVER FORGET.” In fairness, it was probably more impressive at the center, which was some 300 miles away from me.
33. Touched a snake? Held several.
34. Ran a red light? Probably accidentally.
35. Been suspended from school? Nope.
36. Had detention? I had lunch detention for missed work in Elementary school a few times, but I was never really in the business of misbehaving.
37. Been in a car accident? Three times. One totaled our vehicle, the other two were fender benders.
38. Hated the way you look? Who hasn’t? Lately I’ve been more okay with my appearance.
39. Witnessed a crime? Some petty misdemeanors.
40. Pole danced? No, but I am totally in awe of the pole dancing competitions I’ve watched on youtube.
41. Been lost? Yes, physically and emotionally.
42. Been to the opposite side of the country? I’ve been all up and down the east coast, hit most states in the midwest, a few jaunts to the cactus area of the country and all the way to a beach out from Portland, Oregon.
43. Felt like dying? I’ve had a few sinus infections.
44. Cried yourself to sleep? I’m a total crybaby.
46. Sang karaoke? Yes! I’m pretty good, too.
47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Hoo yeah.
48. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? It wasn’t something I was drinking, it was KETCHUP, and it burned my nasal cavities into oblivion.
49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Uh-huh!
50. Kissed in the rain? See above: member of the same sex. I’ve done the same with the opposite sex too.
51. Sang in the shower? It’s impossible to avoid. Sometimes I do it to further my favorite cliche.
52. Made out in a park? I don’t think so.
53. Dream that you married someone? DAYdream, you mean? ;)
54. Glued your hand to something? I used to cover my hand and fingers with clue, wait for it to dry, then peel it off. Satisfying.
55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? Does that actually happen? Is that actually possible?
56. Ever gone to school partially naked? In like, weird dreams and stuff.
57. Been a cheerleader? No, but I always kind of wanted to be.
58. Sat on a roof top? Joyous moments on some campus roofs.
59. Brush your teeth? What kind of question is this? “HAVE YOU EVER BRUSHED YOUR TEETH?” Like ever in my life? NO, dumbass survey. I HAVE NEVER BRUSHED MY TEETH EVER. Dafuq. Of course I brush my teeth.
60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? Every scary movie ever.
61. Played chicken? Nope!
62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Dropped into a lake with my Bye Bye Birdie costume on.
63. Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger? Not expressly, but overtly flirted with by older men.
64. Broken a bone? My wrist. I fell from the top of a jungle gym to a slide.
65. Been easily amused? Weginald.
66. Laughed so hard you cried? Yep!
67. Mooned/flashed someone? Yep!
68. Cheated on a test? Nope!
69. Forgotten someone’s name? Yep!
70. Slept naked? Greatest joy in life.
Or in a few months.
Today I am addressing a problem with male writers. Of course, I guess some females do it too. And some male writers don’t. Whatever. I don’t dig with blags. The thing is, boobs.
Boobs are sometimes hard to understand.
I am reading a book my sister gave me by Mason “Tailsteak” Williams and it’s very good. I’m enjoying it thoroughly; it reads like crack fanfiction and I was hooked from the prologue. Unfortunately, Tailsteak, while being awesome and cool and stuff, made a crucial mistake that I have to say something about.
He wrote about a woman wearing a push-up bra that, “as advertised,” made her 32B measurements look like a 36C.
No bra that is desirable to the sort of woman Tailsteak was describing has ever done that, ever. Because that is a bra that would literally make you appear to be a larger weight class, with boobs proportional to the ones you had before.
Here are how bras work: the number are the inches around your ribcage. I am a 33 which means I most often wear 32 hooked a little loose. The letter is thesizeof your breasts. The letter is the cup size, which is what pushup bras add to.
Therefore, a 32B (skinny woman, smallish breasts) wanting the brief appearance of larger breasts would search for a pushup bra with padding and liftonly in the cup, which means the band would remain a 32. Let’s be frank: Tailsteak is not the worst offender of this by far. Half the erotica I’ve read (and disgustedly abandoned after the first paragraph) is making this mistake.I’ve seen so many writers fall into “larger number means larger boobs” trap and similarly many male assholes tell me that I couldn’t possibly be a 32 because my boobs are big. Yes, they are big. No,Iam not.
So I’m probably going to create a new blag for my ink poisoning project. Keep an eye out.
For those that don’t know just go to facebook because it’s awesome. I draw on my hands with many ballpoint pens. And sometimes my legs and feet and hips.
I want one. Dang it hair, grow thickly.